Blink of an Eye

New York Times op-ed columnist Frank Bruni chronicles his adjustment to and acceptance of a sudden, rare stroke that left him with little vision in one eye in his new memoir, The Beauty of Dusk. 

While explaining the damage in detail, he devotes the bulk of the book to others—well known and not— inspiring mastery of significant life curves thrown their way.  Here is what he learned.

“Even in the later innings of our lives, we have unplumbed abilities, untaxed muscles, flexibility, growth.  That made the prospect of further deterioration of my vision less scary.  That made everything less scary.”

He imagines that each person carries a “sandwich board” of unfortunate events—a fatal illness, the loss of a loved one—and that we all can attune ourselves to others by recognizing the cues and connecting deeply.

What would you write on your sandwich board? 

Most relevant to this blog’s purpose, however, are his thoughts about what aging well means.

“There’s no age limit on the idea—the reality—that we have second selves and probably third and fourth selves to rescue us when our first selves are compromised or killed off.  Or that life is such a cornucopia of choices and possibilities that to be denied some is to be nudged toward others.”

“The challenge of life, present for most of it but more dominant in the second half, is adjusting to loss, or, more specifically, developing the judgment and grace not only to accept its inevitability, but also to recognize it is not the only trajectory, that there are many ways to meet and measure it and that there are consolations, including all that remains. Cherishing those leftovers—those holdovers—is the key to thriving, and sometime even to surviving.”

What pivoting have you done—or will you do—in your later years?